01.25.13: After all the shit I've I've been through I get dumped? Huh?

01.13.03: I'm lost over here. Does anyone have a map? Send it quick if so.

Life is unrelenting. I trudge forward into the nothing, quaking more violently with each passing step.

01.08.03: New Year, blah blah.

I've decided to post some excerpts from emails I've sent to my closest associates:

On Why it is Important that I Keep in Touch with my Former Students:

I have a real phobia of power in general (thus my pretty casual demeanor in class and my easy-going policies in general). The Marxist in me still has problems with any type of domination based on gender, race, religion, class, etc. The student-teacher relationship models these inherent unjust privileges since I have a hard time in any situation where inequality exists.

Once I have lost the power I have had over 50 some individuals for several months, I hope that relationships based on equality can sprout anew.

On Guilt over being Young and Stupid (edited):

I've been meaning to say some words of remorse several times previously as we have (casually) kept in contact. It didn't seem right that, as someone who I shared everything with for a good one-twelfth of my life, that we are merely casual acquaintances. I often wish to repent for my wrongs, but rarely have the occasion. This Holi-daze, I finally did. It's good to hear we're cool. I hope that there is never a time that I cannot call you up to see how you're doing: you have been, and are still, a very important part of who I am today.

On Law, as a Profession and Otherwise:

Law is something I've always contemplated. But, that was because I started learning philosophy through political philosophers like Locke, Hobbes, etc. when I was on the debate team in HS. Legal theory . . . I dig. Legal practice . . . not quite my thing.

On Some New Additions to my 2001 Line of Evening Wear:

Since we've lost track, I've learned two powerful and satisfying things: brutal honesty and an innate sense of honor. I hope you can appreciate these things also.

On Talking Shop:

I'm always up for talking philosophy. Unless I'm drunk, in which case you need to give me the benefit of the doubt that my mumbles are meaningful.

On Towns or Sale on eBay and Mr. Bungle

I've been following this town recently put up for sale on eBay. When finding a few articles online, I read that it is located in Humboldt county, CA (recall the original domain that WOM was hosted on was humoldt1.com).

Turns out, it's just a short jaunt from Trey and mimicry Records. It's a quick 1 hr. drive to Eureka from this town for sale. Forgetting the postmodern commentary concerning *selling a town* it woulda been neat info to have had in case someone had a few million burning a hole in their pocket.

On Grad School Applications and Applications in General

Truth is situational. Beaureacracy must be destroyed by its own rules: I know them, can play them, and wish to exploit them.

On the Breakup:

Cliff notes version of the relationship I just got out of:

1. Really liked me for about a year
2. Didn't like me so much the past six months.
3. Been either actually or practically living together since we met.
4. When I moved in actually, she became despondent.
5. By despondent, I mean physically, emotionally, spiritually, and otherwise shut me out
6. Claimed she was ill and a symptom of which she had no sex drive and had to sleep all the time
7. Was putting it out all over town
8. Got pregnant putting out to friend of mine.
9. I stood by her through all the shit.
10. Dumped me after she aborted the pregnancy

On Truth:

Russell is right, Derrida is wrong. Hegel saw too clearly, Marx couldn't see clearly enough. Either T. S. Eliot or Lemmy is god, not quite sure which yet. But James Joyce must then be the Vice God.

On the Bush Family and Republican Ideology

Still believe Republican is the way to be? I've got a Bush on the state level, and another on the national level: double your pleasure, double your rich white Stalin wannabes.

On Now and Then:

I don't think angst is the correct word (unless you are referring to the German cognate usually poorly translated as "anxiety.") Rather, I am at the point in my life that I look back at some things I've done, and I'm not proud of the person I used to be. Fortunately, I can be proud of what I have become, which makes the juxtaposition that much more disparate.

New Year's Resolutions: List #2

1. To say what I mean and to mean what I say
2. To make every action count
3. To know that some people are assholes and will never be pleased with anything you do
4. (related to #3) to get those people the fuck out of my life
5. To fight what is wrong and celebrate what is right
6. To act honorably and respectfully, except when swung upon first (verbally or physically); and if that exception is violated, to take no rest until that person has seen my wrath
7. To show those that I care for that I care
8. To never buy into the capitalist game, as tempting as it is

On the Apollonian-Dionysean Balance

When you start deconstructing take out menus, you need a good week of drinking and drugging and whatever else you can get your hands on to remove theory from practice. Theory is nothing without practice, and vice versa. But, they must always remain two different things, symbiotically aiding you in progressing forward meaningfully.

On Writing Passionately and Reading Passionately

What else is it that we do but violence? Creation cannot be without destruction; quoth the phoenix, "ALWAYS more."

I often log on and take comfort in your sincere and eloquent form of violence. I will read posts two, three, four times to help me satiate my longing to do violence as well as you. Fight on brother! Keep it brutal.