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06/26/2006: "Just me and Jack Daniels"
So, I guess I'm single again. Nothing horrible happened, it just became clear that we were not looking for the same thing out of this. I still think the world of her. She made me very happy, and I'd still be with her if she wanted me to be. But I don't really think she did. Nor did she.
This is somewhat opportune, because I have three major time-consuming tasks this month. First, I'm moving. I need to pack and move my stuff, and to get this apartment to shape so that I won't need to pay too much. As it stands, my security deposit is less than the total maintanence bill I'm facing. (I have several walls to paint back to their original color despite the fact that I was the one who kept insisting it was a bad idea. Stupid fucking people don't listen; so, here I am stuck.)
Second, I'm writing. I got my refined and re-directed dissertation topic approved today, and I need to get shakin' if I'm going to get done this year. I may be able to score a real job this year (remember heath insurance?), but I will have one lined up here if I don't. It's more likely than not I'll be in Florida next year, but there is a non-zero probability that I'll actually get a visiting position in some god-forsaken flyover state. For this reason, it would be a bad idea to be dating someone who's committed to staying in Tampa (as N. was), because just when it got serious I might be leaving. That's not fair to her.
Finally, I'm teaching. My Marx class starts next week, and as it stands I've got 37 eagar minds ready to understand Marx, and only six weeks in which to do it. My task is exacerbated as I've got to get them to see the real Marx, not the economic boogeyman of popular repute: a bearded villian sneaking in to "redistribute" your stuff. And although reading Marx almost always puts me in a good mood, grading thirty-seven weekly response papers is probably going to want to make me take a header off a bridge before September.
So, long story short: you may start seeing me at the bar periodically. Buy me a drink.
