Boxes are packed. The dissertation is (mostly) written and (conditionally) approved. My defense date is set. The contract will be faxed on Monday to the moving company, and I'm ready to get the fuck out of dodge.

When I initially found out that I got the job, I was taking a walk with N. when it struck me that I was really going to leave. I remember being overcome by a sudden and powerful feeling of nostalgia for Tampa. That was in May, when it was sunny and nice out. But now that it's nearly August and I'm stifled by the humidity and constant rain, I can't wait to leave.

There are some things I wish I could say I will miss here in Tampa. There should be, since I've spent the last seven years of my life here. One of the more obvious things I should miss would be the nice weather in the winter. It's nice wearing shorts in January. But I can always come back during my winter breaks now that I'm making an absurdly large amount of money. And I've always been under the impression that warm weather makes one soft and lazy; I'm pretty sure it's done that to me.

I'd like to think that I'll miss the metal scene. All the great music, and all the good times at the Mug. When I first moved here, I would meet people whom I had idolized as a child--when I was blaring Covenant or The Bleeding on my walkman. And I'm delighted to call these people friends now. But most of these people with whom I have shared beers, I have shared little else. Not interests, nor personality. In fact, I kept most of them at a distance. Most of the people I have known here are bar flies, who are unemployed for large periods of time, may take a class or two at the community college, and spend most of their free time drinking. I'm not judging--but these are not exactly people who can carry on high-level discussion (which is probably why my relationships went so badly, because hanging out at the bar I always ended up falling in with the cute and dumb ones). And for the past two years or so, I've been largely excising myself from the bar scene here. So I might as well already be gone to most of them, anyway.

I think I'll miss some people. Certainly many of my friends and colleagues in the graduate program. But most of them are moving on also, and won't be in Tampa anyway. I'll be seeing them at APA meetings now, not at the local bar.

There were people whom I had loved here. But nearly all of them long ago have already broken my heart; since then even the last vestige of residual anger and bitterness has evaporated, leaving only apathy behind. Likewise, there were people whom were very close to me. Some of them are still here, but many I don't talk to anymore.

There isn't much left for me in Tampa. I'm a very different person than when I arrived seven years ago. I had a blast while I was here, but it's time to go.

And good riddance.