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01/03/2006: "Merry fucking Christmas"
Athena left me the other day--without fanfare, and without explanation. She had been planning, plotting, and deceiving me for days (if not weeks) while she was arranging her departure. She had arranged a place to live, and playing happy, she left the house like nothing was wrong. She then called (yes, you read it right: called) me to tell me that she was not returning.
She sucked as much of the life as she could from me, with her incessant demands that I change my behavior. I always conceded. Yet she says that I am "controlling" . . .
She sucked most of the money she could on the way, too. I paid for our food, utilities, rent, and all of her clothes and makeup. She warmed the couch for most of our time together, working on part-time and temporary positions, if she worked at all. She just got a job, and (of course) rather than reciprocating, she left on the day before rent is due. Most of the last six months were occupied by her driving away our roommate, the third in a three bedroom. I now have an amazingly expensive and empty three bedroom apartment. She says she'll give me some money for rent; I'm not holding my breath . . .
She sucked away all of my time, with the constant demand for attention. I agreed to the "cuddling" and the bedtimes, and her hostility to my even going out for a beer without her. She couldn't even go to the store alone. And then she says (as they always do) "There's nobody else" . . .
She sucked back up old memories; I could recount her answers to my questions for justification before she gave them, since it's the same damn speech I've heard eight times. Laced with banality and insincerity, she refused to give any real reasons, other than such perennial classics as "I just need to be alone," "It's not you, it's me," and (the always classic) "I still want to be friends" . . .
She sucked my faith in women; perhaps in humanity.
She sucked.
Excuse me, I'm going to go urinate on her stuff.
Replies: 2 comments
on Thursday, January 5th, Christie said:
My thoughts are with you. It sounds like Athena turned out to be "not" such a nice person. I hope you had the opportunity to take a big piss on her stuff. If so, I am quite sure it was therapeutic! Some people are selfish, and only think of themselves.... we have different labels in my profession for people like that. But not everyone is like that. Try not to lose the faith. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Just try to remind yourself it was YOU who was the good person here. Maybe fate is that she didn't deserve you. It sounds like she was sucking the life out of you. You deserve better. One day she will reap what she has sown.
on Thursday, January 5th, Athena said:
If I was soo bad then maybe yu should have left me, rather than volunteering to be a victim (but then, what's new about that?).
I am always amazed at how yu manage to twist things around so that yu come out a hero, the ever martyred nice guy.
I bet yu wont even keep this comment up.
The truth of the matter is that I wasn't happy with yu for quite sometime; that my own fear of hurting yu kept me from breaking it off sooner ( I was damned either way); that even when I tried to leave in the past, to yr face, yu would use yr semantic tricks to manipulateme into staying, out of guilt and nothing more.
And its not like I take a lot to keep happy. A dinner out just the two of us once in a while, and a lay once a week.
I used to clean, but after the hundredth time of doing everything and getting no recognition(yu are a total slob) for cleaning up after yu, and yu constantly telling me how lazy I am, I figured that if I'm going to get yelled at for not doing something, I might as well not do it.
Everytime I was on the verge of leaving yu, I broke down and gave yu another chance, at yr request. If we haven't worked out after three years then we need to stop wasting our time.
As much as I love yu, and I do, the truth is that yr too negative.Yu constantly told me how I was lazy, stupid, annoying, incompetent and selfish. I'm sensitive to that kind of abuse.
I just can't be happy with someone so negative.
When we got together I tried to cheer yu up(that's right, I used to be cheerful), but in the long run yu ended up just dragging me down.
BTW- Lots of people (including ex-boyfriends) disagree with yr opinion of my personality. Since yu also think the rest of the world is fucked up and yr the only one who's not, I'm going to go ahead and disregard yr comments, b/c frankly, I'd rather be happy with the world than miserable with yu.
