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I'm feeling kinda down today, about my present and my future. In terms of the present, all of the work I need to do (and have not done) due to my recent depression and subsequent recovery from love. To my future: as to where I will be, and what I will do, what I need to do to get there, and if there will ever be love in my life again (or, perhaps, if I want there to be). The two are interrelated. I cannot prepare for my future without fixing my present, but my future fills me with such anxiety, I cannot focus upon my current state of affairs.

And it's not Thena: hell, I think I'm almost over her. It's the isolation, the lonliness, the lack. Would if I could find someone who doesn't lie, cheat and steal (what a novel idea!), and could see some value in this punk rock philosopher. Or, if I could find someone that I could be with without having to compromise myself, just to have it thrown back in my face in the end. Would if I could . . .

"All my friends are married
every Tom and Dick and Harry.
You must be strong
to go it alone.
Here's to the bachelors
and the bowery bums
and those who feel that they're the ones
who are better off without a wife."